Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
