i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
