operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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