just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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