If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize