I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
