After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize