and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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