Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
