You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
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VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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