The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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