Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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