I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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