That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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