Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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