i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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