Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.

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  (925): Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back. http://tfl.nu/vsft
  Replies (22) Good night (620) Bad night (1415)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.

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  (917): yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute. http://tfl.nu/qqzp
  Replies (147) Good night (1617) Bad night (3887)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

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  (469): I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep. http://tfl.nu/j5ig
  Replies (9) Good night (5226) Bad night (661)
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  (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

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  (347): we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy (203): go home http://tfl.nu/91uo
  Replies (28) Good night (6993) Bad night (1021)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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  (850): when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children? http://tfl.nu/iefn
  Replies (26) Good night (1259) Bad night (5987)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.

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  (407): I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin. http://tfl.nu/d7w8
  Replies (7) Good night (3988) Bad night (1126)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet

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  (816): Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet http://tfl.nu/ftvp
  Replies (7) Good night (4600) Bad night (914)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

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  (817): Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system.... http://tfl.nu/zett
  Replies (9) Good night (2803) Bad night (801)
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  (661): View more from California

  We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.

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  (661): We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila. http://tfl.nu/fos5
  Replies (22) Good night (784) Bad night (3680)
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  (805): View more from California

  I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.

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  (805): I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up. http://tfl.nu/2z9h
  Replies (10) Good night (1911) Bad night (669)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1499) Bad night (479)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.

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  (508): Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country. http://tfl.nu/6o4g
  Replies (16) Good night (1033) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness

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  (617): I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness http://tfl.nu/3h8d
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever

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  (650): You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever http://tfl.nu/tk1a
  Replies (4) Good night (1883) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue

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  (248): Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue http://tfl.nu/hgnj
  Replies (10) Good night (577) Bad night (274)

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