Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.

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  (651): It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits. http://tfl.nu/7qz9
  Replies (24) Good night (4067) Bad night (719)
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  (626): View more from California

  she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song

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  (626): she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song http://tfl.nu/tlf6
  Replies (35) Good night (1549) Bad night (4287)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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  (804): my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2 http://tfl.nu/hna9
  Replies (9) Good night (1459) Bad night (2945)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

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  (870): He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed." http://tfl.nu/z9xx
  Replies (11) Good night (6963) Bad night (1460)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up

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  (217): Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up http://tfl.nu/7l2l
  Replies (4) Good night (1721) Bad night (780)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.

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  (603): Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight. http://tfl.nu/r24v
  Replies (17) Good night (2089) Bad night (1123)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.

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  (204): Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day. http://tfl.nu/31tb
  Replies (24) Good night (3949) Bad night (1014)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.

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  (617): Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now. http://tfl.nu/mmi9
  Replies (1) Good night (1306) Bad night (534)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.

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  (770): Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way. http://tfl.nu/age7
  Replies (9) Good night (989) Bad night (1366)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.

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  (207): I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager. http://tfl.nu/qawn
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (386)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.

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  (757): No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance. http://tfl.nu/6tt7
  Replies (0) Good night (705) Bad night (238)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.

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  (+61): He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it. http://tfl.nu/xk8c
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (190)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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  (901): I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking." http://tfl.nu/tuv1
  Replies (3) Good night (481) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances

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  (619): yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances http://tfl.nu/p8ta
  Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (219)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.

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  (517): She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off. http://tfl.nu/rnkc
  Replies (1) Good night (261) Bad night (434)

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