He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.