Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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(540): View more from Virginia

About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?

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(317): View more from Indiana

Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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(416): View more from Toronto

There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.

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(480): View more from Arizona

strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor

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(425): View more from Washington

No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags

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