You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
accomplished twins. life is a go
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
