Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.