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• (905): View more from Toronto

  Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

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• (914): View more from New York

  Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  "bouncy castle"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.

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• (661): View more from California

  I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Found the cure to anxiety attacks.

  (425): View more from Washington

  An orgasm

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