I will die if light touches me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
