Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
