Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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