I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
