I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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