you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
