Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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