Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
