Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
