Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
