Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
