SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
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I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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