you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
