Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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