i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
