Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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