I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
