If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
3pm strippers are depressing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
