I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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