dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
