Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  nut hugger

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  (313): nut hugger http://tfl.nu/mtjw
  Replies (4) Good night (911) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  im getting my college education on yahoo answers.

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  (718): im getting my college education on yahoo answers. http://tfl.nu/sx90
  Replies (23) Good night (5264) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

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  (806): and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"... http://tfl.nu/oz9l
  Replies (77) Good night (1831) Bad night (6674)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.

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  (518): She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids. http://tfl.nu/b0ha
  Replies (7) Good night (3431) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.

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  (832): I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style. http://tfl.nu/zqa3
  Replies (8) Good night (5258) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...

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  (303): Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water... http://tfl.nu/8ncn
  Replies (12) Good night (6783) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...

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  (727): He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going... http://tfl.nu/31sf
  Replies (11) Good night (3735) Bad night (1612)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.

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  (609): You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke. http://tfl.nu/1rx3
  Replies (8) Good night (6937) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka

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  (617): They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka http://tfl.nu/47bx
  Replies (4) Good night (4620) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.

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  (407): You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear. http://tfl.nu/lhty
  Replies (4) Good night (3266) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.

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  (513): well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process. http://tfl.nu/0h10
  Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.

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  (920): Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/3ocj
  Replies (12) Good night (776) Bad night (1675)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?

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  (678): When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was? http://tfl.nu/rsyp
  Replies (3) Good night (1834) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth

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  (239): All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth http://tfl.nu/rwpm
  Replies (9) Good night (719) Bad night (1679)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.

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  (605): She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating. http://tfl.nu/imu2
  Replies (8) Good night (446) Bad night (1113)

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