I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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