When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
