Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery