Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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(847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u

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(225): View more from Louisiana

If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party

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(225): If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party http://tfl.nu/fuoa

Replies (28) Good night (5048) Bad night (752)
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(530): View more from California

We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?

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(530): We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef? http://tfl.nu/bmpn

Replies (12) Good night (4202) Bad night (710)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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(613): Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night. http://tfl.nu/w938

Replies (14) Good night (1016) Bad night (3766)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone

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(203): She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone http://tfl.nu/bzdp

Replies (25) Good night (6507) Bad night (1230)
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(760): View more from California

It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.

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(760): It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience. http://tfl.nu/sxy7

Replies (13) Good night (5924) Bad night (1122)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job

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(860): I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job http://tfl.nu/ok5l

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself

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(570): Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself http://tfl.nu/yahv

Replies (3) Good night (1016) Bad night (1995)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?

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(517): I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm? http://tfl.nu/cxi2

Replies (7) Good night (3644) Bad night (880)
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(310): View more from California

My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."

(323): View more from California

If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.

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(310): My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity." (323): If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing. http://tfl.nu/54s4

Replies (8) Good night (3011) Bad night (852)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die

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(919): Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die http://tfl.nu/o1vm

Replies (4) Good night (1506) Bad night (686)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard

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(780): I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard http://tfl.nu/fp3r

Replies (7) Good night (936) Bad night (568)
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(425): View more from Washington

I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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(425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d

Replies (7) Good night (1768) Bad night (660)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.

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(252): You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives. http://tfl.nu/s1c1

Replies (10) Good night (500) Bad night (1214)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.

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(250): Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit. http://tfl.nu/wak6

Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (177)

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