Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.

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(319): The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me. http://tfl.nu/ughv

Replies (3) Good night (985) Bad night (2784)
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(404): View more from Georgia

A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

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(404): A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show. http://tfl.nu/h6zp

Replies (16) Good night (7710) Bad night (940)
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(734): View more from Michigan

dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks

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(734): dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks http://tfl.nu/2ro0

Replies (28) Good night (4436) Bad night (777)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....

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(609): just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public.... http://tfl.nu/rq3r

Replies (24) Good night (7531) Bad night (1914)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal

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(215): he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal http://tfl.nu/oaxp

Replies (35) Good night (1718) Bad night (4106)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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(720): You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset. http://tfl.nu/s72o

Replies (7) Good night (3941) Bad night (996)
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(361): View more from Texas

I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.

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(361): I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off. http://tfl.nu/sc97

Replies (21) Good night (4313) Bad night (1502)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...

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(780): Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it... http://tfl.nu/howp

Replies (10) Good night (2904) Bad night (639)
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(904): View more from Florida

Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.

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(904): Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple. http://tfl.nu/t444

Replies (13) Good night (876) Bad night (942)
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(243): View more from

We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.

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(243): We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever. http://tfl.nu/yt9v

Replies (4) Good night (1456) Bad night (603)
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(317): View more from Indiana

His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv

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(317): His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv http://tfl.nu/yd6c

Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (806)
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(917): View more from New York City

Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family

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(917): Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family http://tfl.nu/7bwr

Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (542)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.

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(330): Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/oodj

Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (228)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.

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(720): I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys. http://tfl.nu/mqj0

Replies (0) Good night (221) Bad night (280)
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(415): View more from California

Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?

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(415): Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license? http://tfl.nu/k1wl

Replies (9) Good night (676) Bad night (179)

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