Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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  (352): New low: just hacked my moms facebook http://tfl.nu/hg9x
  Replies (18) Good night (862) Bad night (2671)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.

  (239): View more from Florida

  I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.

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  (239): I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning. (239): I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais. http://tfl.nu/n26p
  Replies (18) Good night (833) Bad night (1522)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.

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  (301): woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later. http://tfl.nu/zlbw
  Replies (3) Good night (4283) Bad night (1029)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.

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  (717): yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup. http://tfl.nu/otef
  Replies (13) Good night (4437) Bad night (1544)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?

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  (602): Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now? http://tfl.nu/lkox
  Replies (9) Good night (5614) Bad night (944)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.

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  (206): Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night. http://tfl.nu/k94l
  Replies (7) Good night (1818) Bad night (734)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.

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  (603): I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall. http://tfl.nu/67xg
  Replies (8) Good night (679) Bad night (1467)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?

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  (303): I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream? http://tfl.nu/tu1k
  Replies (13) Good night (733) Bad night (1731)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.

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  (843): It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying. http://tfl.nu/4qy7
  Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (576)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.

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  (608): On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke. http://tfl.nu/f19p
  Replies (18) Good night (3100) Bad night (576)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you

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  (616): Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you http://tfl.nu/p2n8
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (864)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up

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  (647): Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up http://tfl.nu/h0ko
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (259)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.

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  (612): Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding. http://tfl.nu/ep7t
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (563)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.

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  (502): I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off. http://tfl.nu/temq
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (183)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face

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  (702): bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face http://tfl.nu/efba
  Replies (0) Good night (39) Bad night (81)

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