I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
