I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
