its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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