you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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