Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
