"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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