You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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