i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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