We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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