i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
