im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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