Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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