In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
