i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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