its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
This toilet bowl is my home.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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