Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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