dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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